King David had a son named, Absalom.
Absalom wanted to rule and reign on
his father's throne over the united tribes
instead of Solomon. King David's heart
was tender towards Absalom. He made
two very vital mistakes towards his son.
Absalom committed murder and then ran
away. His crime was not dealt with and the
longing in King David's heart grew over time.
After a number of years, Absalom was brought
before the King and when the King kissed his
son, he offered forgiveness. However, no part
of the biblical account indicated that Absalom
had ever repented of his wickedness.
(1st Mistake) Forgiveness w/o Repentance
2 Samuel 14:33 NASB
So when Joab came to the king and told him,
he [King David] called for Absalom.Thus he
[Absalom] came to the king and prostrated
himself on his face to the ground before the
king, and the king kissed Absalom.
This led King David to make restrictions on
his relationship. These manipulations rested
most heavily on his son, even though it was
acceptable to the King.
Eventually, over many years, Absalom turned
the hearts of the peoples away from King David
and towards himself as ruler. The strategy was
designed to gain power, resources and a public
image that was popular. Eventually, King David
went to war against his son.
(2nd Mistake) Restoration w/o Redemption
2 Samuel 18:5 NASB
The king charged Joab and Abishai and Ittai,
saying, "Deal gently for my sake with the
young man Absalom." And all the people
heard when the king charged all the
commanders concerning Absalom.
Joab knew that the weakness in King David
towards his son would undermine the entire
nation. Even though all the other servants of
David would not touch Absalom, Joab disobeyed
and killed in battle the leader of the opposing
army, Absalom.
King David grieved publically for his son's death.
Joab called him out by stating David would be
happy if Absalom was alive but all his other servants
were dead in battle.
Manufacturing a peaceful settlement in restrictive
relationship rules does not deal with the consequences.
It only delays resolution.
Offering forgiveness to another person without giving
an opportunity for repentance is a vital mistake for
everybody involved.
Silencing the argument is not the same as laying down
your life. Picking up the pieces of a shattered lifestyle is
not the same as picking up your own cross to bear. Going
about your own business without interference from others
is not the same as following the LORD Jesus Christ.
Dealing gently with a ruthless, power-hungry and treacherous
family member will not end well no matter how deeply the
loss of relationships. If the only commitment made by the
rebelious hard-hearted is to seek first his own way, then any
attempt to modify, mollify or manufacture a 'workable'
solution will not only fail but eventually blow up in your
face. If you're not careful you might find an enemy in
your midst whose only goal is your destruction.
